I've had so many conversations over the years with women (and men) who would love to give solo travel a try. However, too often, my gut-instinct, enthusiastic and encouraging reaction is met with reservations, all of which are painfully understandable and valid - unfortunately, one search can be enough to put anyone off!
Below I myth-bust seven typical, widespread rumors and concerns about solo female travel. If women could do it in the 70s with no access to a phone, Google Maps, bank cards or pre-booked hostels, I'm a firm believer that now, more than ever before, is the best time to go!
1. Travelling alone will be lonely
Whether you are introvert or extrovert, travelling alone is anything but lonely, because you're 100% not the only person doing it. As a search term, "solo female travel” grew by 52% between 2016 and 2017, and it's only on the rise. So get out there girls!
Hostels are not only a place to find cheap, well located accommodation but also an opportunity to find an atmosphere that feels right for you and your personality. If you like to recharge or take a more relaxed approach to meeting people, check out a hostel that has a 'chilled' vibe. If you want to jump into the thick of it, you won't be short of party hostels to choose from - taker a look at Hostelworld.com and Hostelbookers.com for some inspiration.
Whichever you decide on, hostels are social by nature - that's the great thing about them and they're yours to take advantage of however you want. From shared dorms (female or mixed), communal areas, arranged activities and, usually, tours, you'll be struggling to find time to yourself (that's when a single room can be a great option!).
Even if you opt to stay in a Hotel or Air BnB, you'll come across other travellers day to day without even trying. In Sri Lanka, I was carrying my bag to a hostel and a solo male traveller offered me a lift on his scooter - of course, I did make sure he wasn't, as my Dad would say, "an axe-murderer" before accepting. In the end, we spent the whole afternoon together and had dinner on the beach. I never saw him again but it was a great and wonderfully random way to spend the day! Equally, I was eating dinner alone one night (wine and book in hand, with the beach in sight) and a girl sat next to me who was also on her own. We naturally got chatting and it turned out she knew my old boss! The saying 'It's a small world' is common for a reason.
Finally, you'd be surprised how many more opportunities arise for solo travellers - it's easier to get a single ticket to shows, the theatre or a concert, there's usually space in a car or on a tour for 'one more' and groups of friends will often welcome a new face to switch up the conversation and experience. Being alone or a 'single' means you're immediately more flexible than when you're in a group and that means your adventure can take you anywhere you want, unexpectedly.
2. It's hard to navigate a new country alone
Navigating a new situation can be difficult whether you're at home or away, in a group or on your own. In some instances it could be said that too many opinions makes it even harder - so many people to please! Realistically, travelling to any destination is, to an extent, about testing and learning along the way, and balancing your sense of adventure with common sense - you won't always make the right decisions but that's not because it's harder to make the right ones alone or in a different country, it's just because the situation is new.
One of my very early solo travel trips was to Hong Kong. I landed and immediately missed a bus because I hadn't bought the right ticket. My initial response was to cry (ha!) - not because I wasn't capable of buying the right ticket but because I was frustrated after a long flight and at my lack of concentration when buying the original one. A quick look around and it was easily resolved by a man at the information point.
Times like this can feel so disheartening in your early days of solo travel but think of all the positives you gain from them - resourcefulness, resilience, coming face to face with your gut-instinct reactions and working to respond better next time, and a sense of achievement when you reach your destination or discover something new, all by yourself.
To be completely honest, the times when I have travelled with other people, I've been lazier than I would be when travelling alone and have been left feeling as though I didn't really get under the skin of the country on my own terms.
Wherever you go, everyone is working with the same information and resources. Of course, it's great to speak to people about their experiences and to get an idea of what is and isn't worth seeing or doing but ultimately everyone is different - navigating and shaping your experience alone means it's truly yours in every sense and an achievement you should be proud of.
3. Travelling solo as a female is dangerous
Ok this is a big one and understandably. Solo female travel can initially feel daunting and vulnerable. As we've mentioned, there is an entire community of travellers who are instinctively mindful of each other's well being. Of course there are some things you can do to make your trip safer and more enjoyable. These are listed below but more information on each can be found here.
Plan ahead
Share your insurance and flight details with your family or friends
Have a safe phrase to indicate an emergency or threat
Meet in public places
Tell people what you are doing
Respect the local people and culture
Be polite but firm
Keep your valuables safe
Be mindful of how much and what you drink
Trust your instinct
4. It looks like I don't have any friends
In my early days of solo travel, I wasn't really 'proud' to be going alone. I, wrongly, thought it meant I didn't have much of a social circle back home. This was never actually the case - a few of my friends had gone to Europe together and my perception was that 'everyone else was travelling together'. Put simply, I had a fake FOMO.
In reality, especially as you get older, life gets in the way a lot of the time and syncing time off, finances and what you actually want to do with other people can be a challenge. Often when I tell people about my solo travel adventures I'm met with some variant of "OMG I would LOVE to come / I've always wanted to do that but...x, y, z / I'm so jealous / That sounds amazing...etc".
Travelling alone is something to be cherished. It's a bold and brilliant refusal to put your life on hold, waiting indefinitely for your life and priorities to align with those around you.
Those who travel alone choose to do so for many different reasons; you'll meet them along the way and realise there is no real definition of a 'solo traveller' or why they've chosen to be one. It's certainly not because they don't have any friends.
5. I'm too old/young to travel solo
I've been travelling solo since I was 18 and I can tell you that at every step of the way, I've always been surprised by how fluid, adaptable and welcoming the travelling community is. When I was 18, I went for dinner with a 36 year old. When I was 21, I spent the best part of 6 weeks with a 26 year old. At 30 I spent two weeks with a group that ranged from 25-53 (solo travellers and couples included). The truth is, like with the reasons for travelling solo, age varies and really doesn't matter. People are generally more interested in what you have to offer - whether that be travel advice about a location they are going to, conversation, company or just the general human connections that can form in this wonderfully surprising and transient environment. Of course, you can tailor your experience and interactions somewhat via the choice of accommodation and activities, but day-to-day, you'll find people are welcoming and open to sharing the ride with all kinds of people. If in doubt, remember that no one is judging you (or even paying attention to you and how you live your life) as much as you may think they are. Go and enjoy it!
7. It's hard to be so far away from home
It's completely normal to feel homesick and overwhelmed by the unfamiliar when you're away. The distance can feel daunting and touching down on home soil can be so tempting at times, just to feel reassured that it's still there. But if we break it down - focus on time instead of distance - you're only ever a day away from home. 24 (ish) hours. Not so bad right?
Take the pressure off. If you're feeling a little anxious before you go, ring fence your return flight money. That way, if you really, really, really want/need to, you can drop everything, tell those you love that you'll see them tomorrow and fly home. In the meantime, we're all under the same beautiful sky, and with social media and Whatsapp, it's likely everyone will feel like they're right there with you. You'll be selfie ready after all.
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